Wondering About the Nature of God

I was on a drive with my wife half a month ago when I pondered out loud a question that was tickling the back of my mind about God.

Why would God, an almighty being characterized a as a father figure that loves us (according to Christian tales), able to poot stars and planets into existence and create humans from dirt, only communicate through vague events that are left up to us inferior beings to interpret?

I didn't understand why with "His" infinite wisdom and power and our backwards, primitive ability to comprehend we would be left with vague things to figure out what "His" will is.

When something bad happens, many Christians say it's to test us, or draw us closer to God. It's to show that we need Him. It's to strengthen our relationship with God. Etcetera, etcetera.

So...let me get this straight. God, all-knowing, all powerful, creates Earth and stars in seven days along with all life (and many new-Earthers and Creationists say the Earth is 6,000 years old according to the Bible), isn't able or willing to create a memo for we slow humans that isn't so vague that we can't tell if it is either a vital message about our lives or some coincidence?

Okay, let's take it as not as silly a question as I think it is.

Next, our Heavenly Father figure, communicating through vague signs and signals like our cars dying on the way to work making us horribly late and getting fired or our houses catching on fire or tree limbs narrowly missing us as they fall into the road...we misinterpret signs or don't see them as Him talking to us, so when we die God, who loves us, punishes us but throwing us into eternal torture and damnation.

I don't know about you, but when it comes to father figures, my father wasn't vague. He didn't hint at what he wanted. Which when the recipient of the message has Aspergers that is a really really good thing. He came right out and said things like, "Take out the trash," "Pick up your room," "What's wrong with you, anyway?" and "Why the hell didn't you take out the trash already?!"

The model that I'm under the understanding God uses as our Father is to walk into my bedroom late at night, dump a bucket of sand on me and put a pair of boxers on my head before walking away without a word, then giving me the belt when I didn't know this meant I was supposed to do the dishes.

Just a couple thoughts to ponder. I'm sure there are reasons for this that's I'm simply too dense to accept, and I sure don't accept answers that boil down to "just because". Voices in the head, vague signs and "tests" of hardship in my life and the promise of eternal punishment for something that He didn't come down and actually specifically tell me to do (or not to do), instead relying on his army of followers (who are also flawed and unable to comprehend our Father's nature) to interpret from an ancient text that in itself was created by committee (look it up) and was translated and translated and reinterpreted over centuries.

Jus' saying...