High School: Geeks and Bullies

This post (click for link) by a PhD in computer science at Google regarding why he won't go to his high school reunion had me thinking back to my own experiences in high school.

I suppose this is another example of how I've ended up at this point, largely defined by my weight. The only thing is that I never had it as bad as this guy did. He describes having his fingers broken by some other student just so the bully could hear what it would sound like and having a swastika shape burned in front of his house; not that it was anti-semitically related, just that the kid who did it knew it would really bother him (and his brother got some revenge on the perpetrator too; he elaborated both of these details later on in the article). He grew up as a skinny geek and social outcast and his article is wondering what mental defect his ex-classmates have that they would think he'd want to see them at the 25th reunion.

It must have touched more than a few nerves; there's a huge list of anecdotes in the comments section.

I guess I was lucky. I grew up a geek; my first computer that I owned was a Commodore 128D, and I remember playing in elementary school...around third grade or so...with a TRS-80 in the school's enrichment program (or gifted program, whatever other schools would call it. I think it's a dying thing now since No Child Left Behind places emphasis on kids who don't want to be in school and gifted kids are assumed to be fine left to their own devices; a real shame). I wasn't an easy target though...I was overweight and sullen. Not emo. Just looked scary if I got mad, and my temperment was such that usually I left well enough alone. Mind your business, I'll mind mine. Step into my business and I usually used words that bullies were too dim-witted to understand. Or maybe they were afraid of what I'd do to them in retaliation.

Maybe it was the rural area I lived in or maybe it was because fat people were expected to be stupid and I didn't fit the stereotype, but for the most part I had no problem with people bullying me.

I was in chorus in high school. I did a lot of theater work (have a minor in it, actually). I wore a trenchcoat because it was a great utility; at the time, my fat usually kept me pretty warm so a thin trenchoat was just the ticket to protect from the wind without drenching me in sweat, but at the same time it had huge pockets for carrying my things which was necessary because I was too fat to get from one class to the lockers for my things then to the next class in time. I don't know how I'd survive in today's school system where bookbags are a hazard and coats aren't allowed during the day and trenchcoats are a one-way ticket to the guidance counselor, if not the principal. There was also the fact that the coat was almost like a post-industrial wizard's robe or hero's cape.

The fact that the coat draped on an already oversized guy sporting a non-smiling face was probably somewhat intimidating probably helped, in retrospect, send a message to not bother me if I wasn't in the mood.

I was a class clown despite these appearances. My insecurities and social awkwardness expressed itself by making others laugh; I enjoyed performing on stage and in class alike, to the chagrin of my teachers.

I had a small circle of friends. I only hear from a few of them anymore and those I do keep in touch with I usually only hear snippets from via Facebook.

I was fat, geeky, socially awkward, "different", hated sports, strongly disliked school and the institution of public education, resented the people I saw around me to be fools and ignoramuses, and introverted. And I liked computers, rejected organized religion which in itself is a sin in a small rural town like the one I grew up in, and wore a trench coat. What a formula. And of course I didn't date. There were a couple of girls I had a crush on at some point but no one ever wanted to be known for dating the fat social reject. I was far closer to "friend" material than dating material.

(I sometimes wonder if I would meet some of these people on the street if they'd not recognize me and suddenly be open to going out on a date, just so I could reminisce about whether they remember some fatass from high school that they wouldn't give the time of day to...then tell them to go to hell. Not that I'm bitter. My wife might even get a kick from listening to this transpire.)

And yet no one really picked on me. Aside from the expected comments about being fat. Usually I didn't hear them much, either because it was said behind my back or I didn't provoke outright teasing (or they feared that if I did catch up to them at some point, this fatass could still give them an ass whupping, I don't know).

I suppose that while I look back with very little fondness for my public school years I was fortunate in leaving without great mental scarring, unlike the guy that posted the article that got me thinking about this again. I honestly don't recall any great pains inflicted by my peers while growing up except for the occasional teenage melodrama of heartbreak, but that's hardly limited to something geeks have the monopoly on.

See? I've finally found something fortunate in my life to focus on. I'm told I always focus on the negative...now I have an example to point to.

Although now that I've said that I'll probably find a memory I've been supressing...

Anyone else have anything they'd like to share from their formative years?